Andrew’s big bare foot hovered over my face as I tried to sleep. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t want to interrupt whatever he and my new bride were up to in bed. You see, although Laryssa and I were on our honeymoon, my best friend’s little brother, Andrew, came with us (upon Laryssa’s insistence). Because of Andrew’s sudden back pain (I didn’t see any symptoms of him suffering before, but whatever), Laryssa offered to share our bed with him. Of course, that would have meant I had to find somewhere else to sleep, as there wasn’t enough room in the bed for the three of us, and there was no way Laryssa should have had to give up a good night’s sleep. Besides, I was going to spend the rest of my life with her in my bed, so one night sleeping without her wasn’t going to kill me.
I had assumed the honeymoon was just going to be the two of us, but as I said, my wife, and I quote, “really wanted Andrew to cum”. Ever since Andrew had slapped me around in front of her and my buddies at my birthday party a couple of weeks ago, she was drawn to him and wanted to get to know him better. It got to the point where Andrew asked me for her number, and I was comfortable enough to give it to him, as they were now friends. For some reason, he and my alpha male buddy, Rob, fist-bumped when I handed over my girl’s number over to him. When I handed over Laryssa’s number to Andrew, he had taken off a dirty sweat-sock he was wearing and shoved it in my mouth. He ordered me to keep it there, and not wanting to get my ass kicked again, I obeyed. I’ll never forget the look Rob gave me at that moment. It was the same look he gave me when he watched Andrew kick my ass at my birthday party – a look of superiority, disgust, and embarrassment.
Later, my wife walked in on me on my knees rubbing Andrew’s feet while he and Rob played video games. They sat on my couch while I kneeled before Andrew. It was hard to get a good grip on his big feet because he kept on smacking my cheeks and mouth with his sweaty size 13 foot, which made Rob laugh hysterically each time he did. Laryssa, right after watching Andrew bully me around with his bare feet, suggested I buy a coach ticket on our honeymoon flight so that Andrew could come with us. This made Rob laugh and high-five Andrew as if he was rooting for him or something. As soon as I took the sock out of my mouth to answer her, Andrew swiftly shoved his other sock into my mouth, making both he, Rob and my soon-to-be wife laugh quite loudly in unison, looking down at me.
The bachelor party my buddies held for me ended up being for Andrew since he asked me to fill in a shift at the dry-cleaning plant he worked at. I had done it a few times at his insistence, and he told me he wouldn’t have asked me to do it that day if it wasn’t important. I didn’t ask why, I just did what he asked, assuming my bachelor party would be postponed. I found out by looking at pictures on Facebook that my friends went on with the bachelor party without me, treating Andrew as the one who was to be wed.
The wedding was nice, but I felt like everyone there was keeping something from me. When I kissed the bride, the guys seemed to laugh at me instead of cheer for me, and I’ll never forget the smirk and wink Andrew gave me after I kissed my wife’s salty, glossy lips. The thumbs-up and ear-to-ear smile Rob gave me at that moment also made me think there was some inside joke I was a part of, but oblivious to.
On the day we boarded the plane for our honeymoon, our tickets must have gotten mixed up. Andrew and Laryssa walked ahead of me and were escorted to the first-class section, while I was shoved down coach by the flight attendant. I tried to wave and shout to my wife about the mistake, but I was told not to cause a scene by security. I bit my tongue and sat in between two rather hefty dudes the entire trip. When we landed, Andrew didn’t even try to apologize for taking my first-class seat. My wife seemed indifferent to my plight, and to make things more confusing, the security guard was making small talk with Andrew while we were exiting the plane, congratulating him about joining some club that’s apparently miles high?!
The room we got in our hotel was smaller than we would have liked and contained no furniture but a twin bed, a couple of chairs and a table. I was pissed the travel agent I used gave us such a shitty room. Since Andrew didn’t have any money to get his own room, it was going to be cramped with the three of us inside. Unfortunately, there were no other rooms available in the hotel, and the room was non-refundable, so we just had to endure it.
I got sick early on, but Andrew was nice enough to step up and take my new bride out while I tagged along behind them, feeling continuously nauseous. It wasn’t my idea of the perfect honeymoon, but at least my wife was having a good time, thanks to Andrew. By the time we all got back to the hotel room, I was feeling better, but Andrew and Laryssa were exhausted from all the walking around they were doing. All they wanted to do was go to bed. My wife seemed overly eager to hit the sack, while Andrew got ready for bed with a look of confidence on his face. The wink he gave me as he got into bed made me break eye contact with him. He was exemplifying that same alpha aura that Rob had.
When Laryssa asked me to take the floor due to Andrew’s apparently hurting back, I didn’t hesitate, since he was nice enough to step up when I couldn’t. I also didn’t want my new bride to catch whatever illness I had. I lay perpendicular to my best friend’s little brother and my new wife, me on the floor while they cuddled up in bed above me. I thought at first it would be awkward for them to share a twin bed, but Laryssa had no problems snuggling up in Andrew’s arms. The thumbs-up he gave me with his arm around my girl’s bare shoulders assured me he wasn’t uncomfortable either.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t really sleep with the two of them carrying on. Andrew was making my wife giggle, though I didn’t know what was making her laugh. Her giggles turned to moans at one point, and it was apparent she was trying very hard to conceal any sounds coming out of her mouth, though her breathing began getting heavy. To tune them out, I turned on my iPod loud enough so I couldn’t hear them, and I also didn’t want to eavesdrop on them like some creep. I closed my eyes and began to fall asleep, but soon heard the unmistakable sound of the bedsprings creaking. I guess any movement my friend and wife were making in bed had caused the springs to bounce, but when those squeaks were matched by the headboards banging the walls, I pulled the headphones out of my ears and looked up at the duo in bed. The darkness prevented me from seeing what they were doing.
“Shhh!” Laryssa whispered to Andrew. “He can hear us!”
“Eh…fuck ‘em-ah,” Andrew whispered back, chuckling.
“Oh, baby…it’s soooooo big…” She said softly.
“You guys okay?” I whispered in their direction.
“Eh…just go back to sleep-ah,” Andrew replied. I did as I was told.
I began to fall asleep again but Andrew’s foot hovered above my face. My instinct was to tell him to move his foot, but I didn’t want to annoy my friend or my wife again. I bit my tongue, closed my eyes, and turned up the volume on my iPod, but I could hear the bed shake rhythmically this time, and with each wobble, the skin of Andrew’s big toe would trace my lips. I debated moving completely, but I wanted to show that I was not fazed by whatever was going on in bed between Andrew and my wife. So, I endured it once again. Within a two-minute span, Andrew’s entire bare foot rested on my face. There was no way he didn’t know it – was he testing me? Was he taunting me? Would I get my ass kicked again, this time on my honeymoon, if I disturbed him?
I didn’t know what he was doing with my wife that enabled him to rest his foot on my face, especially when his breathing turned into heavy panting. The bed stopped shaking abruptly as the foot resting on my face was now directly stepping on it.
“Mmmmmphhh” I tried to scream.
“Ohhhh…fuck…!” My wife cried out at the same time.
“Eh…. fuck yeah….” Andrew sighed.
And just like that, Andrew finally took his foot of my face. I could hear Andrew and Laryssa whisper to each other intimately as Andrew grabbed the tie I was wearing earlier that day, which I had folded and placed on the nightstand beside the bed. He seemed to be wiping something up it – a $300 tie, I might add – before tossing it at my head. The silk material was soaking wet, almost gooey, and some of it dripped on my face as I held the tie up to inspect it.
Thankfully, Andrew and Laryssa quickly fell asleep as I wiped my face with a dry part of the tie. Whatever happened in bed between my best friend’s little brother and my new bride seemed to wipe them out.
I got a good hour of sleep before I was woken by Andrew’s foot on my face once again, who got up to take a piss. Hearing his stream made me want to take a leak too, and as I approached the bathroom door, Andrew’s eyes caught mine as he was walking out. Once again, he smirked at me and told me he made a bit of a mess on the toilet before stepping aside to let me in. I looked at the toilet bowl and saw that Andrew not only didn’t flush, but his piss was all over the toilet seat. Before I could say anything, Andrew grabbed my boxer shorts and gave me a wedgie, then lifted me up by my boxers and t-shirt and dunked my head in the toilet bowl.
“Mmmmmphhhhh” I screamed before Andrew yanked my shirt from behind, letting me breathe.
“Ehh…. keep your whimpering down…you’ll wake up your wife-ah…”
Before I could even say another word, Andrew let go of me so I fell to the ground, then shut the door behind him. I was irate but didn’t want to cause a scene. I didn’t want my new bride to see me in my bully’s piss, even though I knew she’d find out about what he did upon waking up. I scrubbed the piss out of my hair and washed my face, and as I tried to leave, I realized Andrew had locked the door from the inside.
I swallowed my pride and got comfortable in the bathroom tub. I’m sure Laryssa would be the one who let me out when she woke up. I was also intimidated by Andrew enough that I didn’t want to face him at that moment. , the night of my honeymoon was far from perfect. I would later learn that my wife referred to that night as the biggest night of her life, with emphasis on the word “big”.