My wife, Laryssa, had a simple plan. Make Andrew popular by pretending to be his girlfriend at a party he was invited to. Seeing Andrew as my tag-along friend, she wanted to help Andrew break out of his shell. The party was hosted by someone he knew from the dry-cleaning factory he worked at. No one there would have recognized Laryssa there, so in theory, the plan had no kinks. Being seen with a model-hot girl would only do wonders for Andrew’s (lack of a) social life. After the party, if anyone asked about her, he could always just say he dumped her, as her appearance with him was for one night only, and was only meant to draw interest in him from others.
My Wife’s Friends Think She and My Nerdy Buddy Make a Cute Couple
Andrew was sort of the guy you didn’t want to get caught talking to. He wasn’t really one of the guys, rather, he tagged along with the boys and me when we were out. He was the kid brother of a buddy of ours named James, and when James moved away to a different city, Andrew stayed behind and followed us around. No one really shooed him away. I even let him hang out with me in my apartment when I was alone, sometimes to watch wrestling or play video games. He loved to talk about Star Trek and WWE more than anyone, and I think I was the only one who understood his references.
Even though Andrew didn’t really have any friends of his own, he had a secret weapon – he could always make someone laugh by making me look bad in front of them. He always found a way to isolate something stupid I said or make me look weak in comparison to him. Making me look like a chump in front of others is what drew my wife’s attention towards him. She found it “cute” that I had what she referred to as a “bully”. I hated that she thought of Andrew as my bully instead of what he actually was – my buddy’s kid brother who followed me around.
Laryssa was way too hot to be seen with either me, let alone Andrew. She had the face of Jessica Alba in the mid-2000’s and the body of Pamela Anderson in the early 90’s. She was popular with the girls, and every guy who ever laid eyes on her wanted to fuck her. I had no problem with that, as I always found it a compliment that she chose to marry me, out of all the guys she could have been with.
I was an average looking guy, not the fittest, nor most good-looking, but certainly not repulsive – I sort of blended in the background, and I’m sure most people wondered what a girl like Laryssa was doing with a guy like me. I never really put too much thought into that until I saw Andrew and Laryssa side-by-side. It pained me to admit it, but they made a cute couple, more so than she and I did. I thought I was alone on that sentiment until I overheard one of Laryssa’s girlfriends behind me make the same remark.
“They make such a cute couple!” My wife’s friend, Amy, said to her friend, Melissa.
“Adorable,” Melissa replied. “Too bad she’s taken.”
“Yeah, bitches.” I thought to myself. “That’s my girl you’re gossiping about.”
Laryssa never really thought about Andrew one way or the other until she came home one day and caught us play-fighting in my living room. What she saw was out of context – Andrew had me in a submission hold, and only agreed to break the hold if I kissed his foot, which was an inch away from my face. Knowing my wife was watching, I insisted he break the hold, but the more vocal and angry I got, the tighter he applied the move. Wanting to end the embarrassment of looking weak in front of my wife, I placed my lips on the sole of his dirty white sweatsock and kissed it. Andrew broke the hold while laughing, and I told him to get out, very upset. Andrew’s smile reflected the one on my wife’s face, and as he walked past her, he gave her a wink, causing her to bite her bottom lip while watching him leave.
Laryssa asked a lot of questions about Andrew when we were in bed that night, which irritated me. I told her everything I knew about him, and the expression on her face implied she was fascinated with my nerdy tag-along friend. Knowing she was coming out for drinks with her friends and mine the next day, she insisted I invite Andrew along. Seeing no harm in her request, I did just that, texting Andrew before I went to sleep. Instead of just inviting him in 160 characters or less, I emphasized that my wife wanted him to cum, shortening that last word for lack of character space. I wanted him to know that it was she who wanted him there, and no so much me. I think he misread that and saw that as some sort of opening.
I had assumed Laryssa wanted Andrew to come with us so she could set him up with one of her hot friends, but much to my surprise on that evening, every time I looked over at my wife, she was talking to Andrew. In fact, they spent most of the night getting to know one another, and not once did she leave him alone with one of her friends. Anyone who could see them that didn’t know Laryssa or I would have thought they were out on a date. Quite frankly, she was practically fawning over my so-called bully.
A few hours into the night, Andrew and I were playing some air hockey, with my wife watching us play from across the bar while sitting with her friends. All she could see was Andrew beating me in each game we played. Before she and I left that evening, Andrew pulled me over.
“Eh, you mind if I get your girl’s number-ah?” He asked me, which made my friends snicker and giggle behind my back, especially when I (begrudgingly) gave it to him.
“Eh…thanks, buddy-ah,” Andrew said with a smirk, patting me on the back and walking away, with one of my friends giving him the thumbs up.
Laryssa was never a big texter, but after I gave Andrew her number, the two of them were texting each other almost every moment she and I were alone together – during dinner, at the movies, even in bed.
My wife came home one night and saw Andrew beating me in a video game, and sat down to hang out with us. I don’t think Laryssa meant to insult me, but she asked me point-blank if I had ever beaten Andrew in anything. I took a moment to reflect on the past and realized Andrew pretty much mopped the floor with me in anything we competed in. Andrew laughed to himself knowing what the answer was, and when I meekly told Laryssa that the answer was “no”, and that I had never really beat Andrew at anything. My wife and my nerdy bully shared a look. From his peripheral vision, Andrew saw my dick twitch while looking at him and my girl together.
I came home the next night and saw Laryssa sitting beside Andrew on my couch having a beer. There was plenty of room on the couch, and yet she was sitting so close to him that they might as well have been snuggling. When they heard me come in, she looked a little guilty, while he looked at me pissed off, like I was intruding on a private moment. They continued to talk to each other while I washed up and un-winded from a long day, and upon eavesdropping, I noticed they were talking about intimate things. She was asking about his love life (he didn’t have one), if he was a virgin (he refused to answer verbally, just shrugging his shoulders), and what kind of girls he was attracted to (which was pretty much a description of my wife). By the time I got into my home clothes and sat down on another couch near them, I felt like I heard something I wasn’t supposed to.
“You’re exaggerating,” Laryssa said to Andrew with wide eyes and an open mouth. “Is it really that big?”
“Eh…only one way for you to find out-ah…” Andrew replied with a wink and a smirk.
That conversation ended abruptly when they saw me in the room with them, but the look on Andrew’s face all but told me something was brewing between the two of them.
“Can I Have Your Girl’s Number?”
Later that night in bed, Laryssa was talking about Andrew like he deserved better, like he should have been a lot more popular than he was, with all that he had going for him. She said it was an injustice that I had a social life, and yet he was perceived as no more than someone who followed me around. I took offense to that, even though I knew she didn’t mean it as an attack on me. She proceeded to tell me she was going to help him break out of his shell, volunteering to be his date at a party he wanted to go to, hosted by someone he knew from work. I told her it was a great idea, not wanting to be a possessive husband. I tried to initiate sex before we went to sleep, but was shot down as soon as I touched her. Laryssa wanted to “go big or go home” with her plans with Andrew, and insisted on “being fresh for him”. I had no idea what that meant, aside from me going to sleep with blue balls.
The next several days, Laryssa carried on about the party she was going to with Andrew, anticipating it like it was her wedding day. The plan morphed from going as his date to pretending she was his girlfriend, as my wife thought that would give Andrew more appeal. If people thought he was “hitting that”, they would want to ask him questions, which he could parlay into potential friendships. It was a smart plan, really.
I decided to attend the party Andrew and Laryssa were attending, which made Laryssa uncomfortable at first, but Andrew didn’t flinch.
“Eh…let’s let him tag along with us-ah…” Andrew said to my wife as if I couldn’t hear him. “Who knows, maybe he might be useful-ah…”
The two of them shared another look and smile, and this time, it was my wife who saw my dick twitch in my pants while looking at her and my so-called “bully” together.
On the night of the party, my wife thought it was a great idea if I pretended I was Andrew’s tag-along friend, a role-reversal of sorts. It was the right move if the plan was to make Andrew look cool in front of people. No one there knew me, nor Laryssa, who was pretending to be his girlfriend.
All eyes were on Andrew and Laryssa from the moment we arrived at his work-friend’s party. People who vaguely knew who he was were introducing themselves to him and “his hot girl”, while Laryssa and Andrew acted as if they actually were an item. The body contact, the smiles, the whispers in each other’s ears…all of it showed how intimate they “really” were. People particularly got a laugh when they saw Andrew bossing me around, as he really took my role as his “tag-along friend” to the next level. For starters, he had me kneel and take off his sneakers once we got inside. From there, he had me hold his coat, fetch him and my wife drinks, and even stand behind him while he and my wife mingled with other.
Your Rival Saw Your Dick Twitch Watching Your Buddy Kiss Your Girl
The wrench in my wife’s plan to turn Andrew into a stud was a 6’2″ meathead at the party named Mike, who was a friend of Andrew’s older brother, James. Neither Andrew nor I knew Mike would be at the party. Mike knew Andrew well, and never particularly cared for me. Anytime Mike was with the guys and I, Mike would do little things to make me feel unwelcome, like remove a chair designated for me, or leave me with the bill at a restaurant. I don’t really know why he didn’t like me, nor did I really care. But, for whatever reason, Mike had always been a dick to me, and that’s just the way things were.
So, when I ran into Mike at the party, I had assumed the charade was done – Mike was going to blab to everyone that Laryssa was my wife, and ruin any chance Andrew had of being “cool”. If anything, they would think him pathetic for pretending to have a girlfriend, a move that would have tainted his reputation. To my surprise, Mike went along with the charade, ordering me around like Andrew did, telling me to fetch him drinks too, making me take away empty beer bottles and other menial tasks. Mike wasn’t even the party host, he was just a guest as a friend of the host!
My wife walked right up to my nerdy, tag-along friend, grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him on the lips, right in front of me and everyone else at the party.
Mike was having fun ordering me around, looking down at me as he always had, as if I was beneath them. When he approached Andrew and Laryssa, I was sure he was going to expose the lie. He almost did, but instead, helped them solidify their status by asking them to kiss.
“I haven’t seen you kiss her,” Mike said to Andrew, in front of a bunch of guys he was talking to. “For all I know, you hired this broad.” Mike was upping the ante, knowing full well Laryssa was my wife. At this point, I almost felt bad for Andrew, knowing the jig was up, so to speak.
Andrew looked at Laryssa at first, not knowing what to do, but without missing a beat, Laryssa walked right up to Andrew, grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him right on the lips, right in front of me. The kiss lasted a few seconds, long enough for Mike to notice my dick twitch in my pants, which made him laugh aloud. My wife broke the kiss and gave Andrew the sexiest smile I had ever seen, which caused him to smirk. To my surprise, they embraced and kissed again, and my wife really threw herself into the moment. Hands were groping while their lips were locked, and everyone surrounding them cheered the cute couple on. Mike stood beside me and rested his elbow on my shoulder. We turned his head towards me as I looked up at him, and the look in his eyes told me he was going to have some fun manipulating this little scenario.
I ran to the bathroom like a scared little girl, not knowing what to do, or how to react. On one hand, my wife had just made out with my buddy’s kid brother. On the other, my dick had never been so hard in my life. Pre-cum was leaking through the crotch of my pants! I tried concealing it as best I could by wiping it down and pulling my shirt out. When I came out, Andrew and Laryssa were sitting on the couch. She was cuddled up in his arms, enjoying the taste of his lips as they made out like teenagers. Laryssa had her arms wrapped around Andrew’s neck, and his hands were all over her ribs, her boobs, even her ass. Each time they broke their kiss, they smiled, breathing heavy. They might have been pretending, but you would never have known. It really looked like they were having fun going along with the ruse. Laryssa looked like she was doing something she wanted to for a while, while Andrew had a look of cockiness on his face, like he knew how the night was going to end for him.
I didn’t want to watch them kiss anymore because I looked like a tool standing there watching my girl kiss the kid she called my “bully”. In the eyes of others, since no one knew I was Laryssa’s husband, I looked like some loser who had no life of his own. I thought about leaving, but as I turned around, I bumped right into Mike’s chest, who was standing authoritatively behind me.
“Here,” Mike said, reaching his hand out to give me a key. “Give Andrew this.”
“What is it?” I asked Mike.
“It’s a key, dumbass.”
“I can see that, Mike. Why do you want me to give it to Andrew?”
“First of all, asshole, mind that attitude of yours.”
I should have made a fist and decked Mike on the spot. I was feeling so many mixed emotions that I just might have knocked him out. But I swallowed and realized how selfish it would have been of me. I knew my wife had a put a lot of effort into making this night special for Andrew. So instead, I swallowed hard and nodded my head.
“Is that an apology?” Mike asked me.
“Sorry, Mike,” I said, attempting to walk away. Mike intercepted my step.
“Sorry what?” Mike said, leaning into me, clearly an intimidation tactic. At this point, if I did anything to rebel, it would have drawn attention to me. Again, I put my wife’s needs before my own and decided to suck it up.
“…Sorry, Sir.” At this point, I was clenching my fist. Why did Mike have to be such a dick?
“Good boy,” Mike replied, slapping my cheeks in approval rather harshly. “Now run along and give Andrew that key. Tell him he can use my bedroom.”
“You gotta be kidding me,” I said incredulously. Mike leaned into me again, this time without saying a word, just raising his eyebrow.
“Give me an attitude again, asshole. I fuckin’ dare ya.”
I sighed and walked over to Andrew and Laryssa, who were all smiles watching me approach them. Andrew whispered something in my wife’s ear, causing her eyes to fall on my crotch. She concealed her giggling by turning her head towards Andrew’s chest. Andrew’s pulled her in tight, as his arm was already around her.
“Uh, here,” I said, handing Andrew over the key. “Mike told me to give you this.”
“Niiiiice….” Laryssa said to Andrew. “The guys are rooting for you.”
“Yeah, mission accomplished,” I said. “Guys, can we go now?”
“Oh, you’re free to leave-ah,” Andrew said, pulling Laryssa in with his arm and kissing her in front of me. She smiled at him, grinned and kissed him right back, while I hovered over them awkwardly.
The sight of Andrew’s lips touching my wife’s was too much for me. I felt hurt that she was kissing him so passionately, more so than she ever had with me. I also was upset that she had no regard for how her public display of affection with my tag-along friend would make me feel. I was jealous, too, because Laryssa hadn’t even kissed me like that on our wedding day!
My Wife Made Out with My Tag-Along Friend in Front of Me
Then there was the rage I was feeling. Andrew could have been more sympathetic to how I felt, but he was just going with the flow, following Laryssa’s lead. I couldn’t blame him for kissing my girl the way he was. After all, he was making out with the hottest girl either one of us had ever laid eyes on, and the whole point of this was to make him look cool. But he knew how this was making me feel, and it was more than likely he was going to hold this over me forever. At one point during his make out session with my wife, he looked right at me, and through my wife’s lips covered up his, I knew he was smirking at me.
“Your girl’s all over me-ah.” His eyes were telling me.
I wanted to get up but couldn’t, because my raging hard-on kept me in place. If I stood, everyone would see how much this was turning me on. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, because no one knew I was Laryssa’s husband except my bully, Mike. I knew that he was somewhere near us, likely laughing at how awkward and humiliated I was feeling. All I could do was keep playing the role of Andrew’s tag-along friend, watching him make out with “his girl” like some sort of clingy loser.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed back of my shirt and yanked me up, which drew unwanted attention my way. Hardly a surprise, it was Mike who easily lifted me to my feet, exposing the tent I was pitching in my pants. I felt so much shame when both Andrew and Laryssa caught my boner, which was leaking pre-cum through the crotch of my pants.
“Don’t just stare at them like some creepy weirdo, dude.” Mike shouted over my shoulder. “No one wants to see you beating off.”
“I wasn’t masturbating!” I shouted, struggling to break free from Mike’s strong grip on my shirt. He held me in place with my other hand and swung me around 360 degrees.
“Look everyone!” Mike shouted. “Andrew’s wimpy friend is cumming in his pants!”
I could not have been more embarrassed. Everyone at the party was looking and laughing at me.
There I was, standing alone at a house party hosted by my bully, Mike. I watched helplessly as my buddy’s little brother, Andrew, lead my girlfriend, Laryssa, into Mike’s bedroom. Just watching my girlfriend and my tag-along friend hold hands walking towards a bedroom was giving me a boner, but when I saw Mike hand Andrew condom along the way, my dick started throbbing in my pants. Mike and Andrew fist-bumped and looked in my direction with smirks on their faces. Before Andrew closed the bedroom door, he gave me a thumbs-up. My view of the door was suddenly obstructed by Mike’s big chest in my face.
“Alright, asshole, you can leave now.” The big meathead said to me, pointing to the door. “You were only supposed to drop off Andrew, no one said you could stay.”
I didn’t know what to say. I came with Andrew to Mike’s party because he asked for a ride. When I walked in with him, my girlfriend met him at the door, oblivious to me behind him. Perhaps I blended in or maybe the shadows concealed me. It was like she had tunnel vision for Andrew at that moment. I couldn’t believe how gorgeous she looked. She looked like a sexy bridesmaid wearing a dress I had never seen before, likely just purchased. It was in pink and black, Andrew’s favorite look on a girl. Is that why she asked me what his favorite colors were the other night? So she could buy a new outfit for him to see her in?
I had no idea my girlfriend was going to be at my bully’s part. She told me she was going out with friends that night, and I didn’t question it. She clearly had no idea I would come there – the last place she would ever find me would be at my bully’s house. She clearly knew Andrew was going to be there, the way she was all over him. Andrew! My tag-along friend, of all people! As I stared at them disappear into the house together, Mike came over to greet me and told me to leave.
“Get out,” Mike ordered. “Before your girl sees you. Don’t ruin this for Andrew.”
“I….I don’t understand…” I stammered.
“Take a hint, douchebag,” Mike said to me walking towards me, making me back up against the wall. Your girl’s finally getting the fucking she needs tonight.”
“Fuck off, Mike,” I said, frustrated, but that was a mistake. Mike grabbed my shirt and shoved me against the wall.
“What did you say?!” He said to me, his other hand raised in a fist and aimed at my head.
“I’m—she—I don’t understand–” I stammered.
“Dumbass, I set Andrew up with her,” Mike said, letting me go, perhaps feeling sorry for me. “She’s getting some deep-dicking tonight from a real man, bro.”
“Your Girl’s getting some deep-dicking tonight from a real man, bro.”
“No…no, she wouldn’t….”
“She would. Just the other night, she came out with the boys and me. She and Andrew sat together at the movies behind us. I don’t think they saw most of the movie if you know what I mean.” Mike said, making the jerk-off gesture with his fist. Mike’s meathead friends were ease dropping and laughing.
“No…it’ can’t be…” I whimpered, my head down.
“Yes, it is,” Mike said triumphantly before pointing to the driveway and walking away, queuing me to leave. I stood in the same position for a while before deciding to go back in and confront my girl and my tag-along friend. I was afraid, though. What would I say? The more I thought about them together, the more my dick began to twitch.
When I went back in, I saw Andrew and Laryssa walk towards a bedroom.
My blood was boiling. I side-stepped Mike and marched towards the bedroom Andrew and Laryssa were in, and the closer I got to it, the louder my girlfriend giggled and Andrew laughed. Were they mocking me? Were my girlfriend and my tag-along friend laughing at me…together…in my bully’s bedroom? I could hear her moaning and him sighing loudly. What were they doing behind closed doors?!
I moped around the party with my head down. No one wanted to talk to me, as I carried the stigma of “loser”. When people were near me, their eyes went to the stain on the crotch of my pants, which I inadvertently spread larger trying to scrub it off in the bathroom.
I noticed eyes flicker up to the window upstairs. People were hearing and seeing things going in the bedroom Andrew and Laryssa were in. I sulked in the corner, trying my best to ignore the giggling coming from my wife, or the cocky chuckling of Andrew, in the window above me. I hadn’t even realized I was chugging down beer rather quickly with my idle hands, too drunk to notice people staring and another boner I had grown. This entire scenario had turned into a complete nightmare, and I realized that Andrew was going to become a stud coming out of this party. I just didn’t think about the consequences of my wife’s plan, and how it would make me feel. I also realized, thanks to Mike, word was going to get around about what happened. What would my friends think of me? How would I ever face Andrew again as an alpha male, when all I had felt that night was inferiority towards him?
The more I drank, the more I lost control of my behavior. I skulked around, beer bottle in my hand, slurring my words while rambling aloud that I wasn’t a loser, that Laryssa was my wife, and that she was just pretending to be Andrew’s girl for the night. People were trying to get away from the annoying drunk I had turned into. Eventually, Mike noticed my behavior, walked right up to me and smacked me a few times on the cheek.
“Fuck is wrong with you, dipshit?” Mike’s big thick football hand felt like catcher mitts whopping my cheeks. “I told you to leave, why are you still here?”
“Myyyy….wiiifffffeeee….” I tried to say in my drunken stupor.
You’re bumming everyone out. Leave, before I throw you out myself.” Mike sternly said
“Not…leavinnnn…wifout….my….wifffffeeee…” I replied.
Mike pie-faced me to the ground and went into the house. I realized he must have gone up to grab my wife, so she could take me home. I tried to get up, but when I was on my hands and knees, Andrew’s dirty sneakers appeared before me. As I looked up at him in embarrassment, he looked down at me with a sneer.
“Let’s teach him a lesson,” Mike said to Andrew, standing to his right while cracking his knuckles.
“Naw…I got this.” Andrew said, raising his hand to stop Mike from approaching me. I felt relieved, as there was no way I could fight of my bully in the inebriated state I was in. I smiled thinking to myself that Andrew was a good guy, after all, saving me from sheer embarrassment in front of many people.
Or so I thought.
Andrew grabbed my forearm and yanked me down the backyard with one hand, walking several feet ahead without even looking back. He tossed me against the fence, and as I pushed my back against it, I sat on my butt, stretching my legs out on the ground. Andrew placed his foot on my chest and pushed hard, pinning me to the fence.
And then my tag-along friend unzipped his jeans.
“Eh…this’ll teach him a lesson-ah,” Andrew said with a smirk.
That was the last thing I saw before a stream of his piss blasted me in the eyes, temporarily blinding me. It was a like a firehose the way it hit my face, the top of my head and inside my mouth. Andrew moved his foot enough so that none of his piss landed on him, but for a good 25 seconds or so, I was unable to be free from Andrew’s thunderstorm of a leak. The only thing I could do was spit out any of his piss that was going in my mouth. I could hear everyone at the party laughing hysterically at me as Andrew zipped up.
Suddenly, a garden house blasted me in the face.
“Move, dummy,” Mike said, dousing me in water. “We don’t want piss staining the paint on the fence, do we?”
“Thanks, buddy.” One of Mike’s friends said.
“No problem,” Mike responded, fist-bumping him while looking at me with disgust.
Fortunately, the garden hose washed most of the piss off of me, but the scent was still embedded to my hair strands. I crawled away to the side of the house and looked up at Mike’s bedroom window. Laryssa was looking out the window at me, her body slightly bent over, so that the windowsill was holding her forearms up for balance. Opening my eyes wider, I saw Andrew standing behind her with a smile on his face. Their bodies seemed to be rhythmically moving backward and forwards.
“Now can I kick him out?” Mike shouted up at Andrew.
“Be my guest-ah,” Andrew shouted down, giving Mike a thumbs-up.
I felt the force of Mike’s kicks against my ass as he shooed me out of the backyard and onto the driveway.
“Get the fuck outta here, weirdo,” Mike said, pointing to the street. “You’re getting piss all over my boy’s driveway.”
I did as I was told, knowing the night wouldn’t get any worse.
Or so I thought.
“Hey asshole, hold on,” Mike shouted behind me. He stretched his arm out, holding up his phone so I could watch the video on his screen. It was footage my bully recorded of me getting pissed on by Andrew. Upon closer inspection, I realized he was playing it on his Facebook page. Comments were already forming under the video.
Just then, a text came in. It was from Andrew.
“Guess your girl’s plan worked.” His message read. “Don’t wait up for her tonight.”