One night I was hanging out with my nerdy friend, Andrew, in his older brother James’ basement. We were taking a look at some novelty items I got from a swag bag I was given at a party I had attended. One of them was a pair of handcuffs. Andrew asked if he could put them on me, promising to take them off afterward. Not seeing the harm, I let him, placing my hands behind my back. Suddenly, James and a friend of both of ours, Rob, came downstairs. The sight of my two alpha male buddies hanging out without me took me made me feel like I wasn’t cool enough to hang with them. Like I was on Andrew’s level.
My Buddies Hog-Tied Me in the Basement Before Taking My Wife Upstairs
Nodding to Andrew and I, James asked what “you two losers” were doing on a Friday night in the basement. I laughed, but no one else did. Andrew pointed to my handcuffs, muttering something I couldn’t hear to both Rob and James, which made the three of them laugh mischievously. Just then, my wife, Laryssa, and a girl James was seeing, Amy, came down and joined us. I knew my wife was hanging out with Amy that night, but was surprised to see the ladies hanging out with my friends. Rob told Laryssa what Andrew did to me, which made them both laugh in my direction. Rob held his hand up for Andrew and they high-fived, grinning me. Rob, James and Andrew talked to each other with their voices intentionally low, so I couldn’t hear them, and then the trio walked over to me with sinister intentions written all over their faces.
“Eh…where do you want ‘em-ah?” Andrew asked Rob, while standing behind me.
“Just dump him on the couch.” Rob said, thumbing to the sofa to my right.
Andrew pushed me onto the sofa, and I landed on my stomach. James grabbed my legs and tied them together with some rope and duct tape he had in the tool room nearby. My legs and arms were now bent and touching each other – the boys had hog-tied me. Everyone was laughing at the mess I had allowed myself to get into. As if the situation couldn’t have gotten more humiliating, Andrew took his dirty sock off his foot and shoved it in my mouth, then grabbed some duct tape and wrapped it around my head, so that I couldn’t spit out the sock. It was evident that Andrew’s dirty sweatsock hadn’t been washed in a while and worn for a few days, likely in those rank Nike sneakers he always had on.
Andrew then took the one of those stinky sneakers off his foot, grabbed the back of my head and shoved my face into the shoe’s entrance, so that my nose was wearing it like a gas-mask. More duct-tape was wrapped around my head, and my only source of air was the stink of Andrew’s running shoes.
“Alright, let’s get outta here.” Rob said to the group, leading them all upstairs.
“See ya, chump.” James said with a smirk.
I remained hog-tied, unable to break free for what seemed like forever. I could hear music, laughter, murmurs and footsteps very loudly. At one point, the guys came down and told me they felt bad about what they had done, bringing me a peace-offering – a beer. Keeping me hog-tied, Andrew pushed me off the couch and onto my knees on the floor.
“Eh…open up-ah!” Andrew said, holding a beer bottle away from his face with one hand and pulling off the duct tape from my mouth with the other.
After I spit out Andrew’s dirty sock, he removed his shoe from my nose, pushed my head back and poured the beer into my mouth. I had never tasted beer like this. It was warm and smelled like a urinal. I didn’t want to be rude, and wanted the moment to be over, so I shut-up and chugged. I don’t know why, but all three of my buddies were in a laughing frenzy. From my peripheral vision, I could see Rob recording me guzzling down the foul-tasting beer, with a grin on his face that suggested he was laughing at me. James thanked me for not making a mess on his floor, though he couldn’t keep a straight face watching Andrew reshove his sock in my mouth before I could reply. After duct-taping my mouth once again and throwing me back on the couch, the boys walked back upstairs, the three of them continuing to laugh with each step they took. I was just thankful that my nose was able to breathe in air that didn’t come from Andrew’s dirty sneaker.
I Could Hear My Wife and My Buddies Partying as I Remained Hog-Tied With a Dirty Sock in My Mouth
After falling asleep, I was woken up by sounds of thumping. I heard furniture squeaking on the floor, like couches were being pushed in thrusts. I heard girls screaming, shouting in excitement, and the guys were shouting profanities, cheering one another on like they were at a football game. I heard James’ familiar-sounding footsteps leave the room and taking who I assumed was Amy to another room. That left only Andrew, Rob and my wife in the room above me.
The laughter had turned into silence, followed by moaning and groaning from the boys. I could hear Andrew sighing, and rolled my eyes, as I knew he made that sound whenever he beat off. I wondered why he would make such noises in the presence of my buddy and my wife. I couldn’t hear Laryssa talk at all, but heard her making odd sounds, like she was slobbering all over a Popsicle while being pushed around, perhaps backwards and forwards, rhythmically. At one point, all three of them exhaled aggressively, followed by total quietness before all three of them began panting and sighing. I wasn’t an idiot, I figured out what was happening. They were obviously watching the hockey game, rooting for the Leafs. The way the noise ceased suggested that the Leafs had lost.
I heard Rob and Laryssa leave, and while I was happy my buddy was taking my wife home safely, I was hurt neither one came down to say goodbye to me, let alone untie me. When Andrew eventually came downstairs you couldn’t have scrubbed the smile off his face when we made eye contact.
Andrew smacked me on the cheek a few times before ripping the duct tape from my mouth and setting me free from the ropes and handcuffs. He didn’t say anything, but the smirk on his face suggested he knew something I didn’t. Like he did something, but he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) tell me what it was.
“Eh…your wife is a real hands-on kinda girl-ah”. Andrew said, looking down at me as I tried to get the blood circulating in my now-free wrists.
“What do you mean?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“Eh…I mean she needed two hands to hold me—ah…” Andrew replied, slapping me on the cheek again before walking upstairs.
The kid didn’t even apologize for the predicament he left me in all night.