Rob was a buddy of mine, someone I was pretty tight with, but the company he had recently kept some distance between us. Andrew was a kid in the neighbourhood who Rob once referred to as “the neighborhood loser”, with his everyday WWE apparel as his wardrobe, his self-cut hair, and his Star Trek conversations. That all seemed to change when Andrew turned a friend of ours into somewhat of a wimp. Overnight, Andrew became one of the guys, with rumors of him stealing away someone’s girl floating around. The unspoken rumor was that Andrew had joined Rob in the “Big Dick Club”.
I Introduced a Girl I Just Met to the Big Dick Club
I didn’t care for Andrew, despite his change in popularity. Rob knew that, and instead of not inviting Andrew with us when we were chilling, Rob brought his new buddy with us anytime we hung out. It was strange to see someone who was recently a social outcast hanging out with the alpha male of our neighbourhood, and yet they looked cool together, the guys you wanted to be friends with. However, with Andrew around, Rob began talking down to me, seemingly taking advice from Andrew on how to treat me. Rob started telling me to do things for him, beginning with his dirty laundry, asking me to wash his whites. I did them, but next day, he took advantage of my generosity by telling me to wash his colours. I handed them over washed and folded, telling him he could no longer expect me to do him any favors. Just like that, Rob and I had stopped hanging out, as I didn’t care for the influence Andrew clearly had on him. Apparently, Andrew was treating his friend – the guy he turned into a wimp – the same way.
My friends were Rob’s friends, and so when Rob and I stopped hanging out, I began spending a lot of time alone, just like that friend of Andrew’s who he began bullying. The silver lining was a girl named Selena I met in my solitude.
Selena was way out of my league. She looked like a tall blonde version of Emma Stone, a couple of years younger than me. We met at a comic book shop, when both of us grabbed on to the last copy of a comic book at the same time. It was a funny moment that led to a conversation, as we seemed to have a lot in common. She invited me out for coffee right there.
After a few weeks of Selena and I spending a lot of quality time together, one day we were out for a walk when we bumped into Andrew and Rob. With smiles on their faces, they seemed to be laughing as they got closer to us, whispering to each other in hilarity. Andrew had a smirk on his face, while Rob had a boyish grin on his. I introduced Selena to the boys, and when she asked how we knew each other, just as I was about to answer, Rob thumbed to me while looking at her and revealed that I “used to do his laundry”. I chuckled, embarrassed, as Selena raised her eyebrows, looking at me, then at them, then back at me. She was intrigued by the connection between the three of us, and wanted to know more.
Rob told me he was having some friends over, and invited…Selena, without inviting me. Without missing a beat, she accepted the invitation, asking for his number, which Rob gave to her with a smile, winking at me. I looked over at Andrew, who gave me a mischievous thumbs-up before put his hand on Selena’s arm.
Rob gave MY GIRL HIS NUMBER, winking at me WHEN SHE TOOK IT. I looked over at Andrew, who gave me a mischievous thumbs-up.
“Eh…it was nice to meet you, ah…” Andrew said to her with a smile. “Sorry about the company you keep, though-ah…” He said, nodding to me, without breaking eye contact with my girl. I clenched my fist while Selena blushed and giggled.
Selena wanted to know more about “those two studs”, which made me roll my eyes. I told Selena how tight Rob and I used to be, the rumors of how Andrew fucked his buddy’s his girl, and how the two of them had been inseparable since. She asked why I stopped doing Rob’s laundry, and I told her I was no man’s lackey. She looked at me for a while before I changed the subject. I felt like she was judging me, somehow influenced by Andrew and Rob.
When I went to pick up Selena to take her to Rob’s get-together, she reminded me that I wasn’t invited.
“But with me by your side, I’m sure those big boys will let you in.” She said to me. I felt like I was riding her coattails to get into the cool kids’ party.
She was really dressed up to the nines, more than she had ever dressed up for me. Selena looked radiant – her hair was done up, her dress showing a lot of cleavage, and I suspected she wasn’t wearing any underwear. I couldn’t wait to be seen with such a smoking-hot piece of ass.
“Go Make Yourself Useful and Clean Up.” My Buddy Said to Me in Front of My Girl
When we got to the party, Rob had no problems with me as her guest, and within minutes, I was one of the guys again. I introduced her to everyone I knew, and she got along well with them all. I should have known something was up when Rob pulled me aside and told me what a mess his place was turning into. Andrew appeared to my right, a smirk on his face, a garbage bag in one hand, a broom in the other.
“Eh…make yourself useful and clean the place up-ah.” Andrew said to me.
“He’s right.” Rob said to me. “You weren’t invited, so as long as you’re here…”
I grabbed the broom and garbage bag from Andrew and began tidying up, angry that I was the only one doing so, while everyone at the party mingled. I felt like Andrew should have been the clean-up boy, since not long ago, he was “the neighborhood loser”. I wondered what Andrew had his former friend doing for him, that guy who apparently got a mouthful of Andrew’s dirty sock for his disobedience. What a chump that guy was for taking direction from Andrew.
Andrew and Rob had Selena’s full attention while I played the role of party janitor. Soon, guys – my friends – were handing me empty bottles while telling me to get them another. People were snickering at me, and at once point, I saw Rob’s arm around Selena, a smile on his face, watching me clean up for him.
Just as I picked up the last of the trash and bottles, I made my way towards the fridge to grab a beer for myself, eager to join Selena. To my regret, all the beer was gone, but Andrew, much to my surprise, handed me a full bottle, already opened, telling me I deserved a drink. He apologized for the beer being warm, as it was laying out all day, put aside by Andrew and Rob as a reward for my hard work. I thanked him and chugged the beer, which, for some reason, made both Andrew and Rob break out laughing. The beer tasted horrible, didn’t particularly smell that great, and left a fowl aftertaste on my breath.
Andrew pointed to a bottle of Jack Daniels on the counter and told me to polish it off “to wash down the taste of us-ah”. I’m not sure what he meant by that, but spent the next hour alone, guzzling the JD down, with my girl and my friends seemingly ignoring me, intentionally.
Eventually, the party winded down, and the only ones around were Rob, Andrew, Selena and myself. The three of them were on the couch together, her in the middle, with the boys on either side of her, very snug. I passed out from the drinking, but was woken up by Andrew and Rob standing over me, waking me up by rubbing their feet on my face, their skin covered up by white sweatsocks. The aroma on the socks indicated they had been worn all day. I had no energy to fight back, not that they were being rough on me. Still, the taste of Andrew’s sock on my tongue and the scent of Rob’s sweatsock-covered toes under my nose caused me to leap up…only to tall right back on my ass, onto one of Rob’s sofas. I passed right back out as the two of them walked away from me, and back to the couch with Selena.
I opened my eyes at one point, in a drunken haze, and saw the blurry silhouettes of Rob on his knees on the couch, Selena on all fours with her back to him, and Andrew, also sitting on the couch, facing them with his legs opened. Even in a blurry haze I could see their smirks. I could see so much skin on everyone, and it looked like Rob hand a handful of her hair, like he was gripping it, while his hips rapidly thrust forwards and backwards. I could hear the sounds of hard slapping, like sweaty bodies smacking each other, but also the sounds of slobbering and sucking. I could hear Andrew’s breathing and Rob’s laughter, and I even think I heard a high-five.
“Thanks For Bringing Your Girl to Us Last Night, Buddy.”
When I awoke, it was morning. Rob was making breakfast, telling me that, while I was there, I need to clean his bathroom, as “most of the guys last night had terrible aim”. I asked him where Selena was, and he told me Andrew took her home after “we were done with her”. I assumed she didn’t want to wake me. As I made my way to the bathroom, Rob walked over to me, slapped my cheeks a few times and told me I did a good job introducing Selena to them. Halfway through scrubbing the toilet, I realized I hadn’t even defied Rob’s order – it felt perfectly natural and comfortable to do what he instructed. Wondering if the guys had intentionally pissed on the rim of the toilet for me to clean up, I let myself out about a half hour after I left Rob’s bathroom spotless.
I texted Selena repeatedly, with only one reply back, asking me not to text or call her anymore. She had phone-dumped me with no explanation, or goodbye. Whatever happened at Rob’s party put an end to what she and I had together.
I called Rob later that night to ask what I did to drive my girl away. He chuckled and told me not to worry about it, but to respect her wishes and leave me alone from now on. Suddenly his doorbell rang in the background. On his end of the phone, I could hear Andrew’s voice, followed by a girl’s, before his front door closed. It might have been my broken heart influencing my ears, but that girl’s voice sounded exactly like Selena’s.
“I gotta go.” Rob said to me. “Thanks for bringing your girl to us last night, buddy.”
For more pics in this series see “Spizoo“.